Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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