I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
