i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
