I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
