Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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