ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
