Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
