she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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