My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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