Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
