And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
