At least make sure they are 18
Why
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
