Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
