you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
