She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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