Screwed.edu
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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