i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i think my cat just said my name.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
