he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
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