He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
