You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
