I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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