dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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