They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
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Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
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nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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