worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.