she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.