Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.