I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
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I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
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At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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