But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
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Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
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Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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