Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

im drinking this country out of the recession.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.

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(925): View more from California

so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious

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(256): View more from Alabama

so my dad walked in on us having sex

(1-256): View more from Alabama

lulz really? why?

(256): View more from Alabama

lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.

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(801): View more from Utah

I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.

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(530): View more from California

Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away

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