My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
