He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Michael Bay diarrhea
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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