discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
