Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
