The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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