I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
