you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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