11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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