ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up under a house in Key West
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
