Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I faked an abortion last night.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
