I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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