If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I AM VODKA MAN
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
