bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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