she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
