you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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