don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
