I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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