After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
