I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
