I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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