I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
that is very illegal...i love you.
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