this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
