help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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