there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
