my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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