make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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