I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
