we have officially lost it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
