Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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