I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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