Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
