this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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