I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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