So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
