"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Text me some of your sweat
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
