You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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