I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
