Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize